


Hostage to My Own Humanity

by jetsfanforlyfe



Series: Sadie Hawkins Dance (Or the Reason Blaine's a Year Behind) [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Epilepsy, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Seizure, Seizure Aftermath and Care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-15
Updated: 2011-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-26 03:12:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/278024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jetsfanforlyfe/pseuds/jetsfanforlyfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine has a seizure while with Kurt for the first time-in the choir room before Glee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hostage to My Own Humanity

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompted by preciousmellow in a review of Forget and Not Slow Down, when she mentioned imagining Blaine having a seizure and Kurt taking care of him. I've linked it above but it's not particularly necessary-the only carryover is Blaine's PTE. Also, it's titled from another Relient K song. Yeah.
> 
> I am by no means a medical professional, merely a first-aid responder and a purveyor of all things pubmed, so I stake no claim over the medical facts here being accurate.

“Blaine?”

Kurt approaches his boyfriend hesitantly, taking in the other boy’s slumped shoulders, the way his head rests against his closed locker as his fingers fumble with the dial of the look, shaking. Blaine rolls his head slowly towards Kurt, blinking tiredly as Kurt comes into focus.

“You look awful.”

“Haven’t slept much,” Blaine murmurs, returning his attention to the lock. Kurt’s fingers close over his, stilling his hand. Kurt tips Blaine’s face towards him with his other hand, frowning when he takes in Blaine’s flushed cheeks, how pale his face is, and his hand rests along Blaine’s cheek longer than strictly necessary once he feels how warm Blaine is.

“Blaine, you’re burning up. You should be in bed, not in school.”

“Williamson’s paper is due fifth period. We’ve got that duet assignment in Glee sixth period. And I’ve got a Calc test seventh.”

“You can make up the work, Blaine,” Kurt says, but even as the words leave his mouth he knows Blaine will protest. Blaine is nothing if not scarily perfectionist about his schoolwork, and he hates to miss school, a function of the nine months he missed his first year and the countless days since then he’s lost to migraines and doctors’ appointments. Wes and David had once spent close to an hour regaling Kurt with stories of the time Blaine had very nearly given all of the Warblers the flu because he refused to miss school.

“I don’t like to be behind,” Blaine replies, and he lets out a quiet noise of frustration when his fingers slip again. Kurt bites his lip, gently peeling Blaine’s fingers from the lock and replacing them with his own.

“What’s your combination?”

“28-13-46. Kurt, what-?”

The lock clicks and Kurt pulls the door open for Blaine, who steps back to watch his boyfriend in awe as Kurt kneels to gather Blaine’s books, his schedule something Kurt had committed to memory on Blaine’s first day at McKinley. Kurt slides the books for Blaine’s first three classes into Blaine’s shoulder bag, and clips it closed with a smile.

“At least let me take care of you somewhat, Blaine,” he says, putting the strap over Blaine’s shoulder and smoothing Blaine’s collar. “But really, Blaine, how do you feel? Is your head-?”

“It’s not a migraine,” Blaine confirms, shutting his locker and leaning against it with his head tilted back. “I just feel...off. I’m not sure what it is.”

Kurt frowns at this revelation, and grabs his own bag to avoid reaching out for Blaine again. He plays with the strap, considering Blaine as he speaks.

“It could be the flu,” he suggests, watching Blaine’s face. “There’s that bug that’s been going around, maybe you caught it?”

Blaine shrugs, raising his head and looking at Kurt.

“I’m just gonna get through today, I’ll go sleep it off in the nurse’s office after seventh period. I just-I really can’t miss this test, okay?”

Kurt hums in assent, still not happy but willing to admit defeat. He reaches for Blaine’s hand, squeezing it gently as he looks imploringly at his boyfriend.

“Blaine, I want you to promise me that if you feel worse you’ll go to the nurse, okay? And I’ll tell Mr. Schue you’re skipping rehearsal after school. You can make up a test. Don’t wear yourself out.”

Blaine blinks, unused to the attention, but he instantly recognizes where Kurt’s brain is. Blaine’s still prone to migraines, especially when he’s sick or exhausted, and though he hasn’t had a seizure in nearly a year, there’s still a very real possibility that he could run himself ragged to the point of triggering an episode. Kurt knows all of this-the Andersons had given him stacks of pamphlets on post-traumatic epilepsy and seizures, paid for him (and Wes and David, before Kurt had come around) to get certified in first-aid (“just in case” Maria had whispered as she handed the class details to Kurt).

But Kurt also knows that Blaine doesn’t like to think about his limits, that Blaine likes to pretend he’s physiologically where he was before the attack, that his body won’t betray him even when he pushes too hard. Kurt knows this, and it’s part of the reason he loves Blaine, for his determination and ability to put the attack and its aftermath so far behind him. It’s also part of the reason he worries, because he knows that Blaine won’t admit to feeling badly, that Blaine will work himself to death before admitting he needs help.

“I promise, Kurt. It’s just the flu, okay? I feel a little off, but I promise I’ll let someone know if it gets worse or I think I need to. Okay?”

“Okay,” Kurt acquiesces, and they part with a brief hug, heading to their respective first period classes.

\- - - -

“And then Lisa stood up and started yelling at me, Kurt, yelling at me-”

Kurt’s only vaguely aware that Rachel’s trying to tell him something, some encounter she had in history with Lisa Breggins but he can’t bring himself to care. It’s sixth period, their Glee “class” period (which Kurt still finds weird, that they can justify leaving an entire period to what after-school rehearsals should be for), and Blaine’s late. Blaine’s always in the room when Kurt arrives, waiting in their usual spots for Kurt to join him. But Blaine’s chair is empty and Kurt’s worried.

He pulls out his phone again, flipping to his conversation with Blaine and hoping for a missed text, even though it’s nearly the twentieth time he’s done so and there’s still nothing. It’s when he bites his lip and sighs that Rachel finally notices he’s distracted and she trails off, looking at him intently.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hmm?” Kurt stops himself from unlocking the phone to check again-just in case-and slides it into his pocket, turning to look at Rachel. “What?”

“You’re distracted.”

“Blaine’s late. I’m worried.”

Rachel frowns, looking around the room, Besides them, Brad is the only other person there so far, sitting on the piano bench and pretending to look disinterested.

“Blaine’s not late, Kurt. No one else is here yet, we’re just early.”

“Blaine’s always here early, he’s never late. He’s been sick, I’m worried-”

Kurt trails off as Blaine trudges into the room, looking even worse than he had in the morning and wearing clothes Kurt is sure he hadn’t been wearing earlier at his locker. Mike, Tina, Puck and Finn trickle in behind Blaine, but Kurt ignores them, darting up and crossing to Blaine’s side. He hovers at Blaine’s elbow, and the closer he is the easier it is to see tiny crystals of purple ice clinging to Blaine’s curls, left behind after a hasty clean up in a bathroom.

“Who was it?” he asks quietly, taking Blaine’s bag and brushing the remnants of the slushy away, not caring that the syrup sticks to his hand as they walk to their seats. Blaine shrugs noncommittally and slumps into a chair in the first row, bypassing the steps to their usual spots.

“Blaine?” Kurt sits tentatively next to him, suddenly afraid that Blaine is so quiet. Blaine looks ill now, where before he’d looked sick or worn down. His face is pale and the circles under his eyes (“Haven’t slept much,” Kurt remembers) are stark. Kurt reaches a hand to Blaine’s forehead, surprised to find that he’s not so much warm as he is cold and clammy. Blaine leans into the touch, his eyes fluttering closed.

“Don’ feel good,” he mutters, nuzzling against Kurt’s hand until it falls to cup his cheek, and he rests his head there, eyelids fluttering as he attempts to find comfort.

“Blaine, you look really bad. I think you should call your mom, or at least go to the nurse.”

“But Calc-”

“Like you’re in any shape to take a Calc test,” Kurt bites out, taking his hand from Blaine’s cheek and watching as Blaine’s head falls forward, before he catches himself and blinks, staring at Kurt.

“I was fine until they got me in the hallway,” Blaine whispers, but there’s a quiet defeat to his voice now. He knows that Kurt is right, and he knows that if he doesn’t lie down soon, he’s going to fall over from exhaustion. If he’s completely honest with himself, the slushy was the final straw to an already awful day, but he won’t admit that to Kurt.

“Blaine, this isn’t the slushy. You’re sick and you’re exhausted. This happens, even to the best of us. You need to learn to take care of yourself, and to let others care for you.”

“‘M fine,” Blaine starts to protest, but he cuts himself off with a shake. Kurt leans forward, his senses heightened as he waits for Blaine’s next move.

“Dizzy,” Blaine whispers, his voice so quiet that Kurt has to lean in to hear him. “‘M dizzy,” he clarifies, his eyes rolling toward Kurt. “Kurt-”

It’s all Kurt needs before he’s on his feet, his hands flying to Blaine’s shoulders as he helps him stand then helps him to the floor, sitting Blaine down away from the chairs as he kneels in front of him, keeping his hands on Blaine’s shoulders.

“Blaine, I need you to focus, okay? Do you want to lie down? Are you feeling worse than before?”

Blaine nods, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Kurt’s shoulder.

“Is it better down here?”

Blaine murmurs a quiet noise of assent, and Kurt runs a hand up his back soothingly. The rest of the club has been pretending not to watch, but when Kurt and Blaine end up on the floor they drop the pretense, and stare, open-mouthed, at the exchange unfolding. Kurt catches Finn’s eye, silently asking for help as he holds Blaine in his arms.

“Kurt?” Finn approaches the pair carefully, almost afraid to break their attention. “Does Blaine need help?”

“Blaine’s pretty sick,” Kurt admits, his hand still ghosting over Blaine’s back. “Finn, could you-could you get the nurse? I’m pretty sure Blaine should go home.”

Finn nods and turns to leave the room, but Rachel’s startled cry makes him freeze in the doorway. He turns in time to see Kurt laying Blaine on the floor, balling up his own sweater to slide under Blaine’s head. He pulls Blaine’s bowtie from his neck, loosening the top two buttons of Blaine’s shirt before shoving aside the chairs closest to them. Even as Finn watches Blaine’s eyes roll backwards, his limbs drawn up as he starts to shake violently. Finn’s never seen a seizure outside of television and the movies, but he’s pretty sure that’s what’s happening.

The rest of the club is on their feet, the room exploding in a mess of noise and action. Rachel’s started crying, her hands over her mouth as she gapes at Blaine convulsing on the floor. Mike has his cell phone out, Tina shaking next to him, and Puck’s hitting the floor on his knees next to Blaine, reaching for him.

“Don’t!”

Finn’s eyes fly to Kurt, who’s risen on his knees and grabbed Puck’s shoulders, pulling him away from Blaine. He’s never seen his step-brother look like this before, his face set in determination but worry shining in his eyes. Kurt’s got one hand steady on Puck’s shoulder, the other clenched at his side. His eyes alternate between watching Blaine and the clock on the wall, and Finn realizes he’s keeping time.

“He’s gonna hurt himself, Kurt, you-”

“You’ll hurt him more if you try to hold him, Noah. We have to ride it out.”

“I’m gonna call an ambulance,” Mike says, his fingers shakily hovering over his phone.

“You don’t need to,” Kurt turns slightly to address Mike, shaking his head. “Not unless it lasts longer than five minutes.”

“He’s having a seizure, Kurt,” Puck says, as though Kurt isn’t witnessing the same scene he is. “This isn’t normal.”

“If you’d remembered what Blaine had told you guys last month, you’d remember that he’s epileptic. This isn’t abnormal.”

Puck gapes at Kurt, and Finn thinks it might be funny, the look on his face, if the situation were different. Kurt returns to watching the clock, his eyes darting between Blaine’s convulsing form and the hand slowly ticking around the clock’s face. How long has it been-three minutes? Almost five? Why isn’t Kurt doing anything?

“Shouldn’t you stop him from biting his tongue or something?” Puck asks, again inching forward, seemingly desperate to do anything to stop the horrible scene playing out in front of him. “Or isn’t he going to choke?”

“There’s nothing we can do for him right now. Once the seizure’s over we can help him but trying to do anything right now will either hurt him or hurt us. We just wait,” Kurt shrugs, tracking the minute hand again. As the minutes tick on his hands clench tighter, his eyes narrowing. Finn wills Blaine to stop seizing, starts hoping for anything else to happen so he doesn’t have to watch Blaine shake like this.

It seems like almost as soon as it started, Blaine’s shaking dies off and he seems to relax into the floor. Kurt hums quietly, muttering “three minutes” under his breath before springing back into action. Kurt’s at Blaine’s side in an instant, his fingers flying to Blaine’s carotid. They all watch as he takes Blaine’s pulse, leaning down to make sure Blaine is breathing before turning to Puck.

“Help me roll him, Puck. We should put him on his side.”

Puck scoots over tentatively, kneeling opposite Kurt, his hands hovering over Blaine’s prone body. The full-blown convulsions have died down, but Blaine’s still trembling finely, his eyes still closed but his breathing even. With Puck’s help Kurt rolls Blaine onto his side, supporting his head until Blaine’s resting in the recovery position, his head supported on his own arm and his knee tucked up to keep him from rolling onto his stomach.

“Now what?” Puck asks, looking from Blaine’s slack face to Kurt’s worried one, watching as Kurt stops to brush a stray curl from Blaine’s forehead.

“Now we wait for him to wake up,” Kurt replies, settling his hand against Blaine’s forehead as he turns back to Finn.

“Finn, could you please go get the nurse? I don’t think he needs the hospital but I still want him to get checked over.” He barely waits for an affirmative before he turns to the group huddle just behind him, gaping over his shoulder. “Mike, Tina, could you guys find Mr. Schue? He’s not here yet and he should probably know what’s going on. Rachel, Blaine’s got a change of clothes in his locker-his combination’s 28-13-46, it’s 552 in the yellow hallway. Could you grab that?”

Finn’s slightly dazed as they all file out of the choir room, unsure why Kurt had given them all errands except Puck. He shakes himself, realizing Kurt must know what he’s doing before heading off in the direction of the nurse’s office.

Inside the choir room, Kurt leans closer to Blaine, gently stroking his cheek as he calls Blaine’s name.

“Blaine, honey, are you awake? Can you open your eyes?”

“Why did you send them all away?” Puck asks, watching as Kurt frowns distractedly, carding his hand through Blaine’s curls, some of which have sprung free in the commotion.

“He’s going to be embarrassed enough when he wakes up,” Kurt replies, finally looking at Puck. “Having a seizure is really exhausting, and he’s going to hate that everyone saw him at his worst.”

“Why did you send Rachel to get new clothes?”

Kurt sighs, his hand stilling as he considers Puck.

“Someone having a seizure has no control over their body,” he explains gently, and Puck suddenly realizes there’s a dark stain on Blaine’s pants that he’d missed before. “It’s not his fault, but he’s going to be mortified when he wakes up and realizes.”

Puck nods, setting his jaw as he looks anywhere except Blaine. He thinks that mortified won’t even begin to cover it-if he were Blaine, he’s not sure he’d ever be able to show his face in school again. A quiet noise distracts him, and he looks back to see Kurt leaning close to Blaine’s face, speaking softly.

“Blaine? You with me?”

“How-” Blaine whispers, blinking sluggishly at Kurt. His eyes are darting around the room, and he seems unable to focus on any one thing. Puck slides back, afraid he’s intruding.

“You had a seizure, Blaine. It was a big one.”

Blaine nods almost imperceptibly, and his eyes finally track onto Kurt.

“-long?”

“About three minutes. I haven’t called an ambulance but I did send Finn to get the nurse. Do you think you need to go to the hospital, Blaine?”

Blaine shakes his head, his eyes sliding shut as he does so.

“-tired,” he whispers, keeping his eyes shut and leaning into Kurt’s touch. Kurt taps his cheek gently, drawing Blaine’s attention to him again.

“You can sleep in a minute, Blaine. Does your head hurt?”

“Little,” Blaine responds, his one-word answers betraying how much the seizure has drained him. He blinks sluggishly at Kurt, clearly making an effort to stay awake.

“Do you have any of your medications on you?”

“The nurse,” Blaine murmurs, and Kurt takes that to mean his medications are with the school nurse. He hopes she’ll have the common sense to bring them with her when she comes.

“I’m going to call your mom, okay, Blaine? You can sleep now. You’re okay,” Kurt whispers, and he settles his hand against Blaine’s arm as Blaine falls back to sleep, his breathing even and his body still. Kurt smiles softly, his free hand slipping into his pocket for his cell phone.

He gets Maria Anderson on the phone within three rings, and she promises to be at the school as soon as possible. Kurt slides his phone back, gently stroking his thumb over Blaine’s arm as they wait. Puck watches from a short distance, awed at how calm Kurt seems.

“You’re really good at that,” Puck observes, startling Kurt from his reverie. “Taking care of him, I mean.”

“When he told me about the PTE I was scared,” Kurt admits, looking at Puck. “This is actually the first time I’ve seen him seize like this. He had a less severe one, way back when we were still at Dalton, but it was nothing like this.”

“Where’d you learn all that stuff?”

“Blaine’s mom wanted me to be trained, just in case. She does it for all of his friends that spend a lot of time with him. Better safe than sorry, you know?”

Puck nods, but any response is cut off by the sudden arrival of Mr. Schue and the school nurse, Mike, Tina, Rachel, and Finn behind.

“What happened?”

The nurse is next to Kurt in seconds, taking Blaine’s pulse for herself and frowning as she takes in his appearance. Kurt turns to Mr. Schue, his eyes darting to the waiting Glee club members before speaking.

“Blaine had a seizure. I know it’s only the beginning of the period, but I was kinda hoping you’d take everyone else to your classroom for today?” Kurt asks, and he looks meaningfully from Blaine to their director, who seems to catch on.

“Have you called his mom?”

“She’s on her way. I just think Blaine would appreciate some privacy,” Kurt says and Mr. Schue nods, herding the Glee club into his Spanish classroom. Rachel stops to place the stack of clothes she’d grabbed next to Kurt, squeezing his shoulder before following the rest of the club out of the room. Puck pauses, turning back to Kurt before he leaves.

“Tell him to feel better, okay? We’ve got his back-none of us will bring this up when he’s better.”

Kurt nods, silently thanking Puck for understanding, before he turns back to the nurse. She’s pulled out a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff, and is in the process of undoing Blaine’s shirt when Kurt reaches to help her.

“You were with him?”

“Yes. He has post-traumatic epilepsy, which I’m sure you’re aware of. The seizure lasted about three minutes, and he responded within two or three after it was over. I got him to answer some basic questions before he fell back asleep, but he was really exhausted.”

“That’s pretty normal,” she assures Kurt as she fastens the cuff over Blaine’s upper arm, quickly taking his blood pressure. “Everything seems to be okay. His vitals are normal and he’s breathing okay. You said his mom was on the way?”

“She’ll be here soon.”

“How long has it been since his last episode?”

“I think it’s been about eight months since his last tonic-clonic seizure? Maybe nine. He’s on medication and he’s been stable and healthy.”

“Did he mention anything that could’ve triggered the episode?”

“He hasn’t been sleeping,” Kurt admits, looking sadly at Blaine. “I think he’s coming down with something, too, but he hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in three or four days.”

“Sleep deprivation could do it,” she agrees, packing away her supplies as they wait alongside Blaine for his mother. “You did a good job with him, Kurt. I’m very impressed. A lot of kids your age would’ve panicked.”

“Blaine’s mom made sure I knew what to do,” Kurt says, his hand returning to Blaine’s arm. He wants to reassure himself that Blaine is still there, still whole and relatively healthy.

“Smart woman.”

“That she is,” a voice from the doorway sounds, and Kurt looks up, smiling slightly as Maria comes into the room.

“Mrs. Anderson,” he greets, standing to hug her.

“Thank you for being with him, Kurt. How bad was it?”

“Pretty bad,” Kurt admits, walking with her to kneel by Blaine’s side again. He watches as she leans down, brushing her hand through Blaine’s hair as she speaks.

“Blaine? Sweetheart, it’s mom. Wake up, sweetie.”

He does so slowly, blinking at her from his position on the floor.

“Mom?”

“How are you feeling, Blaine?”

“Tired.”

Maria nods, turning to the nurse.

“I’m going to take him home, I think, and give his doctor a call. I’m not sure if he’ll be in school tomorrow-I’d venture to say he won’t.”

“Understandable. Just send him back with a note when he’s feeling better and I’ll take care of it. Do you still need me to hang around?”

“I think Kurt and I can take it from here,” Maria says, looking at Kurt for confirmation. He nods, and the nurse stands, leaving the room with a last look at Blaine, shaking both Kurt’s and Maria’s hands as she does so.

“It was pretty scary,” Kurt admits once their alone, before Maria has a chance to return her attention to Blaine. “When he was seizing.”

“I was terrified the first time,” she confides in Kurt, smiling reassuringly at him. “It hasn’t really gotten any easier, but we’ve gotten more used to it. We’re prepared now when it happens. It’s just been so long since his last one.”

“Do you think him being sick has something to do with it?”

“Blaine doesn’t like to acknowledge his limits,” Maria agrees, smiling at her son. “He likes to think he can push himself until he breaks without consequence.”

“I’ve noticed. Will he be okay?”

“He’s going to be a little sore, and probably sleep for the next day or two. But he’ll be fine. I’ll check in with his doctor, and we’ll see what he wants us to do but I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”

Together they wake Blaine for the third time, Kurt closing the door as Maria helps him change clothes, bundling his soiled pants and shirt into a plastic bag without fuss. Between the two of them, they support Blaine to Maria’s car, settling him into the backseat. Kurt leans in to press a kiss to Blaine’s temple, closing the door as Blaine falls asleep again, his head falling back against the headrest.

“Is it okay if I call tomorrow to check on him? Or even later tonight?”

“Absolutely, Kurt. In fact, if he’s feeling up to it after school tomorrow you could probably come over, bring him his homework and keep him company.”

“I’d like that.”

Maria nods, shouldering Blaine’s bag, which Kurt hands to her, having grabbed it on their way out. She pauses with her hand on the driver’s side door, looking back to Kurt.

“Kurt, thank you. I’m glad you were with him when it happened. I’m not sure I’d have trusted anyone else to take care of him.”

“I’m glad I was, too. Not that it happened-I wish it hadn’t. But I’m glad I knew what to do.”

Maria nods and opens the door, tossing Blaine’s bag into the passenger seat as she slides behind the wheel. Kurt lifts a hand in farewell as she pulls out of the parking lot, watching the car disappear before heading back into the school, his hands shaking at his sides as the adrenaline wears off. He heads for the Spanish classroom, steeling himself for the questions he’s about to face.

\- - - -

“Come in, Kurt. Blaine’s in his room.”

“How is he today?”

“He’s tired, and he’s sore and has a bit of a headache but otherwise he’s okay. We went to the doctor this morning. He’s got a touch of the flu but he’s really just exhausted and rundown. Why don’t you head up to see him?”

“Thanks Mrs. Anderson,” Kurt says as he heads for the stairs, a bag with Blaine’s school books over his shoulder and a bag of low-fat vegan chocolate chip cookies in his free hand. He knocks briefly on Blaine’s door before pushing it open, calling Blaine’s name softly as he steps into the darkened room.

“Hey,” Blaine replies quietly from the bed, pushing himself up on his elbows to look at Kurt. He’s dressed in a worn Dalton tee and a pair of flannel pajama pants, his blankets caught around his knees and a stack of pillows behind his head. Kurt smiles, crossing to the bed and sitting gingerly on the edge, leaning in to brush his lips over Blaine’s forehead.

“You look a little better than you did.”

“I feel better, but I haven’t done much except lay here all day and sleep. It’s been boring.”

“I bet,” Kurt smiles, unclipping his bag and pulling out a stack of notebooks. “Lucky for you I’ve brought assignments, if you’re feeling up to it.”

“Maybe not so much,” Blaine says, eyeing the books suspiciously. He looks hopefully at the other bag Kurt’s brought, turning his best puppy-dog eyes on Kurt.

“Are those for me?”

Kurt laughs, reaching into the bag and pulling out a pair of cookies, handing one to Blaine.

“I shouldn’t give in, if you’re not feeling well enough to do your homework-”

“Shut up,” Blaine mumbles, taking a bite of the cookie and closing his eyes. “My mom’s afraid to feed me-all I’ve had to eat today is watered down Campbell’s and a sleeve of saltines.”

“Must be awful.”

“You have no idea.”

They chew in silence for a few minutes, Kurt watching Blaine carefully behind the cover of his cookie. Blaine’s eyes are still ringed with bags, his face still too pale for Kurt’s liking. There are bruises on his arms that hadn’t been there the day before, purple and standing out against Blaine’s skin. Blaine catches him staring, and lowers the cookie he’s eating, catching Kurt’s eye.

“It’s okay, Kurt. They’re pretty rough on my body-the bruises really aren’t that bad. A couple years ago I had one so violent I popped my shoulder out and dislocated three of my mom’s fingers-she’d been holding my hand when it happened.”

“I still feel awful, Blaine. I knew you weren’t feeling well, I should’ve-”

“Hey, Kurt, come on. Even I didn’t know this one was coming. I’ve gone days without sleep before and didn’t trigger one. It’s pretty random when they happen. It’s not your fault.”

Blaine reaches for Kurt’s hand, threading their fingers together and squeezing.

“But I just-I felt so useless, Blaine.”

Blaine is quiet for a few moments, his face a picture of concentration as he remembers what his mom had told him about the seizure. Kurt remembers hearing that confusion after a seizure was normal, that Blaine might have trouble piecing together the events leading up to the seizure.

“The whole Glee club was there, weren’t they?”

Kurt nods, and he sees Blaine’s face fall at the realization.

“I had an accident, didn’t I? My mom didn’t say, but I was wearing different clothes when I got home. I don’t think she wanted to upset me more.”

Kurt nods and Blaine sighs, his head falling back on the pillows.

“You must think this is really weird.”

“It’s not like it’s your fault, Blaine. You couldn’t control this.”

“The whole school will know by now.”

“Puck promised they’d keep it under wraps. I trust him, Blaine. He was scared, scared enough to promise that he wouldn’t hold this over you.”

Blaine looks up at that, searching Kurt’s face for any hint that he’s lying.

“You’re sure?”

“I will personally kick his ass if he goes back on his word,” Kurt says, drawing a short laugh from Blaine. “But honestly, Blaine, we all care about you in some capacity, even if they haven’t shown it. Everyone was really upset yesterday-Rachel and Mike have called me six times a piece to make sure you’re okay.”

“They do care about me,” Blaine jokes weakly, but he smiles at Kurt, dipping his hand into the bag for another cookie.

“I just wish this didn’t happen, you know? It sucks. I’m really sick of having to explain myself to people, of having to worry when and where it’s going to happen.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Blaine. It doesn’t make me think less of you, Blaine. So you have seizures-I knew that. Actually seeing you have one isn’t going to change anything between us.”

Blaine chews thoughtfully, running his thumb over Kurt’s knuckles. He seems to come to a decision, his face relaxing as he does so and a content smile on his face.

“I’m glad you were there, though. Thanks for being there.”

“Anytime, Blaine. You’re my best friend and my boyfriend. I care too much about you to leave you to the fates.”

Blaine smiles brightly then, and scoots to the side, tugging on Kurt’s arm.

“Cuddle with me?”

“Are you sure you’re feeling up to it?”

“You’d deny your poor, sick boyfriend cuddles?” Blaine gasps, faking outrage. Kurt smiles, dropping the bag of cookies and the schoolbooks to the floor as he snuggles next to Blaine, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s midsection. Blaine’s arm settles over Kurt’s shoulder and Kurt smiles against Blaine’s neck, resting his head on Blaine’s chest.

“This is nice."

“If only you’d cuddle with me without the threat of hospitalization,” Blaine teases, but Kurt knows he’s kidding. He smiles, relaxing into Blaine’s hold even as he feels Blaine relax beneath him.

Kurt knows it’s entirely possible this will happen again, and he won’t be there for Blaine. He knows it’s possible that one of the Glee clubbers will tell someone outside of Glee that Blaine had a seizure, that Blaine will suddenly become a target for an entirely different reason. He knows that Blaine’s going to pretend this never happened as soon as he’s physically able to.

But Kurt also knows that Blaine trusts him, and that he’ll usually be able to tell when Blaine needs to be reminded of his own limits. He knows that Blaine will probably listen to him more closely from now on, even if he doesn’t obey. He knows that they’ll file this away as a relationship moment, and that this will bring them closer. Kurt’s seen Blaine at his weakest point, his most vulnerable, and neither of them is running.


End file.
